Bicycle Film Scenes 1 – The Empire Strikes Back

Cold Beer - Quite refreshing it is.

With sincere apologies to George Lucas…

EXTERIOR: DAGOBAH – HIGH STREET — DAY

Luke’s face is upside-down and showing enormous strain. He stands on his hands, with Yoda perched on his feet. Opposite Luke and Yoda are a line of cars parked in a Mandatory Bicycle Lane. Luke stares at the cars and concentrates. One of the cars lifts from the ground and floats up into the air.

YODA: Use the Force. Yes…

Yoda taps Luke’s leg. Quickly, Luke lifts one hand from the ground. His body wavers, but he maintains his balance. Artoo, standing nearby, is whistling and beeping frantically to mimic the road conditions.

YODA: Now…the car. Feel it.

Luke concentrates on trying to lift a second car. It rises a few feet, shaking under the strain. But, distracted by Artoo’s frantic beeping, Luke loses his balance and finally collapses. Yoda jumps clear.

YODA: Concentrate!

Annoyed at the disturbance, Luke looks over at Artoo, who is rocking urgently back and forth in front of him, bleeping something about ‘road tax’ and ‘Darth Hammond’.
Artoo waddles closer to Luke, chirping wildly, then scoots over the edge of the street. Catching on, Luke rushes to join him. Even more cars have appeared with a delivery van mounted on the pavement. Pedestrian crossing ‘Build Outs’ have appeared in the road bringing conflict in the Force.

LUKE: Oh, no. We’ll never do it now.

Yoda stamps his foot in irritation.

YODA: So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you
nothing that I say?

Luke looks uncertainly out at the street.

LUKE: Master, moving cars around is one thing. This is totally different.

YODA: No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.

LUKE: (focusing, quietly) All right, I’ll give it a try.

YODA: No! Try not. Do. Or do not. There is no try.

Luke closes his eyes and concentrates on making the street better for people.
Slowly, the cars begin to disappear and the pavement starts to move out.
It slows for a moment and then slides back, trees disappearing and cars reappearing once again.

LUKE: (panting heavily) I can’t. It’s too big.

YODA: Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hm?
Mmmm.

Luke shakes his head.

YODA: And well you should not. For my ally in the Force. And a
powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. It’s energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we…(Yoda pinches Luke’s High-Viz tabard)…not this crude matter (taps his helmet). You must feel the Force around you. (sweeping gesture) Here, between you…me…the bicycle…the Sheffield Stand…everywhere! Yes, even between this land and decent cycling!

LUKE: (discouraged) You want the impossible.

Quietly Yoda turns toward the High Street. With his eyes closed and his head bowed, he raises his arm and points down the street.
Soon, the cars and van sink into the ground as Artoo beeps in terror and scoots away.

The entire street becomes one level with a bicycle street marked with wider pavements for pedestrians and droids. Trees grow quickly along the new narrower thoroughfare and tables and chairs appear outside cafés. Yoda stands on a bench and guides fresh, white table cloths over the café tables. A glass of frosty cold beer and a bowl of dry roasted nuts appear on the table nearest him.

Luke stares in astonishment as people of all ages start walking and riding all types of bicycle slowly down the street, using the shops and cafes and smiling at each other. He walks toward Yoda, who is dabbling beer from his aged lips.

LUKE: I don’t…I don’t believe it.

YODA: That is why you fail

Pause

YODA: And take off that brightly coloured safety gear. Off-putting it is.

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4 thoughts on “Bicycle Film Scenes 1 – The Empire Strikes Back”

    1. I think George would consider a humble cycling blog as a threat, or he’d have a tighter defence.

      Besides, he gave us Jar-Jar Binks. He owes us. Big time. 🙂

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